Monthly Archives: January 2019

Disassociative Identity Disorder

It’s natural for individuals to not feel connected with themselves or their surroundings. So consequently the word dissociative raises a few questions when it comes to this illness. Like all disorders, it can mean that the symptoms are more serious, than they are with those who do not struggle with Disassociative Identity Disorder, to the point that it disrupts their lives. Thank God, this mental illness is becoming increasingly understood, which makes it easier for it to be identified and appropriately treated. This article addresses common questions, but if the reader fears that someone they know or themselves can identify with the symptoms, they should seek professional help.

What Is Disassociative Identity Disorder

Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as DID, is also known as Multiple Personalities Disorder. While it is normal for a person to have a moment of dissociation between thoughts and actions, the case is more severe for those who suffer from DID. This lack of connection can affect their identities and personality states, showing a great change of behavior followed by a memory impairment, which is the cause of the multiple personalities.

Substance abuse, other medical conditions, and imaginative children should not have the changes in their personalities accounted to DID as any external factors do not just trigger this disorder. This dissociation is an unconscious defense mechanism usually developed by a traumatic experience.

Cause Of Disassociative Identity Disorder

Dissociative disorders are the result of trauma, emerging as a coping mechanism to deal with the stress caused by it. It can go undiagnosed until adulthood, but when a child is exposed to an extended period of abuse and neglect, this is when this mental illness starts to develop. It protects the person’s consciousness from the events they experience, so when a child is repeatedly violented, they can escape from this experience and block the memories of this abuse. In severe cases, this dissociation can result in an individual developing more than one personality.

It is important to note that not all abused children end up dealing with DID. However, it is more common with this group that it is with non-abused children.

The Facts About Disassociative Identity Disorder

Because studies are relatively recent, it is unknown how common DID truly is. It was once considered to be rare, but experts say it is more common than previously thought. Due to the increase of child abuse documented since the beginning of this century, some believe that at least 1% of the population might suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, while others argue that this number can reach 3%.

This disorder can be treated with antipsychotics and anticonvulsants, as well as antidepressants, and is believed to be a trauma-related disorder. The name Dissociative Identity Disorder was created in 1994 to replace its former term: multiple personality disorder. The Sidran Institute is devoted to education around trauma disorder, and it believes that people with DID have a posttraumatic stress disorder (PSD)

Common Symptoms

One of the key characteristics of dissociative disorders is dissociative amnesia. This is when an individual blocks a particular event in their lives. A woman who suffers from DID has shared a personal story in which one of her alternate personality states (“alter”) took over and put her in a traumatic situation; after arguing with her sister, she felt stressed, and this “change” took over.

The woman then left her house and was a victim of rape. The memory was triggered when she faced another traumatic event, yet she could not remember many details of that night.

These “alters” are known to take over in times of stress as a coping mechanism.

Treatment For Disassociative Identity Disorder

Although not all dissociative disorders require the patient to be hospitalized, those who present danger to themselves can surely benefit from it as being in the hospital. It allows them to be separated from stressful situations and ongoing traumas that can be a trigger, and it protects them and those around them by keeping the patients from harming.

Effective ways to treat DID are through different therapies. Psychotherapy is the most common, guiding the patient to identify their symptoms and develop coping skills, hypnosis or a drug-facilitated interview, is used to access the subconscious of the patient, and EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) allows the patient to reprocess hidden traumas safely.

Encourage Yourself: There are many who don’t believe that mention illness is real, but allow me to inform you that it is very real. Hopefully this short review on Disassociative Identity Disorder will enlighten you so that you might be a little more mindful of those dealing with this illness. Remember to pray for those suffering from DID.

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Trust Issues

Overcoming Trust Issues

Trust issues have always been one of the significant problems in relationships- no matter the kind of relationship have, you need trust to make it bloom. Millions of people face this challenge every day, and sadly, not everyone has the key to overcome the “plague” that has eaten deep into our relationships.

If you are facing this challenge in your relationship, you are not alone. I had this challenge, but finding solutions to this problem has been an uphill task. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because of the negative thoughts that always pop up in my head whenever I think about a family member or my partner.

I get mad over nothing, it was a plague, and it ate me so deep that I was scared… too scared to get close to someone.

To get a clearer picture of the situation, I have to narrow it down to my relationship with my partner. Everything he does or does not do was suspicious; if he does not call, as usual, I start to feel “maybe is no longer “feeling us” and he is getting ready to quit”.

Hear this, when you start feeding your mind with negative thoughts, the devil will start showing you things that are not even there to begin with. The mind is so powerful that even God told us to be careful of what we think in Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can prevent it from building a nest. In the same way, you cannot stop some thoughts from crossing through your mind, but you can stop it from planting a seed that will eventually affect your actions towards the people around you.

Negative thoughts trigger trust issues

The Word of God according to Apostle Paul told us in the book of Philippians 4:8-9 showed us what to think about all the time

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

When you focus on the good in people, you will start to see the good parts. However, I was watching Pastor Creflo Dollar on his YouTube channel- Overcoming Trust Issues. I must say, it totally changed my orientation about relationships.  I will be sharing with you’re a few but power thins I learned just by watching the video.

How to overcome trust issues

I learned while watching the video, that for you to overcome trust issues in your life, you need to be selfless. When you are self-centered, you feel the need other people’s approval; it is the root problem of trust issues. Also, when you think more of yourself, you begin to feel entitled to your partner. According to Pastor Creflo, “you have to consider your partner more than yourself.”

  • You deal with trust issues by stop expecting things from your spouse. Instead, do things that please your partners without expecting anything in return. Know this; when you walk in distrust, you consciously or unconsciously want to create an atmosphere of distrust.
  • Everything will be fine when both partners start focusing on how to make the other partner happy, instead of focusing on what the partners ought to do for them.
  • Trust God to change the life of your partner: a lot of us put more trust on their partners than we put on God.
  • Let whatever you have experienced in the past remain in the past, and trust in God our Heavenly Father to tell us who we are in Christ Jesus.

Who Are You In Christ?

Verses That Show Who We Are In Christ

Many believers are not aware of their redemptive power in Christ Jesus; they are not even aware of who they really are. That is why they fall prey to the devil’s lies. You see, the devil knows you and the power you have. Unfortunately, he knows you have no clue about your inheritance in Christ that is why he is trying so hard to make you believe he has power over you. Below are some of the verses that show who you are in Christ. Don’t just read and move on with life; you have to meditate on it until the word comes alive.

Romans 10:17 “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

Five Verses That Reveals Who We Are In Christ

You Are The Image Of God

Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

When you look at the mirror, what do you see? Do you know you are the spitting image of God? When God wanted to create you, He drew inspiration from within, unlike when He created the stars, the moon, etc. do not let the media define who is beautiful and who is not. To show you are how special you are when God was creating the earth, He didn’t seek anyone’s help, He just spoke the word, and everything manifested. However, when it came to you and me, God said, “let us.”  

Genesis 1:26 “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”

You are His temple

1Corinthians 6:19-20 “What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Being the temple of the Lord is not limited to living a holy life, it also means you are precious, God dwells inside of you, therefore, no sickness, diseases, etc. cannot dwell inside of you (God’s temple).

You Are Royalty

 1 Peter 2:9 “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar* people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.”

One of the many benefits of salvation is the translation from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light. God has called us to be His representative here on earth. We are not born again to suffer again; we are born to reign as kings and queens in Christ.

You Are The Light Of The World

Matthew 5:14-16 “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

As Christians, we are saved to show others the right way, the only true God. We are pacesetters; we live an exemplary life. It is an error to see Christians using the ways of the world to determine what is best for them. As the light of the world, we are to create godly examples, show the world the right way, and not the other way around. We do not have to tell people that we are Christians; our characters should be enough to let people know who we are.  The bottom line is, let your character bring people to Christ.

A Prophet to Nation

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”

Prophets are God’s messenger on earth, sent to liberate people from the vices of the devil and his agents.

What have you been doing lately? Are you preaching the Word of God to save lives? Are your actions in line with your identity in Christ? Can your colleagues, employer, husband, wife, or children boldly say you are a Christian? You don’t have to climb the pulpit to show everyone that you are God’s elect. Let your Character speak for you, let the words of your mouth bring peace, and love to people. Be the reason someone believes in God  

Exploring The Bible

Techniques Of Studying The Bible

It is easy to put bible studying as one of our to-do lists as Christians. A lot of us hope to study more of the word of God, but find it difficult to finish. One hundred people may decide to start reading the bible as a New Year resolution, but only ten or five may complete the whole scriptures before the end of the year. The problem is not reading, or creating a timetable for the word of God, what some of us lack is the technique of studying the word of God, and this is the reason for this article. So, what are the techniques for studying the word of God?

Focus

It is easy to get carried away with the whole book; from Genesis to Matthew, from Malachi to Revelation- a lot of powerful messages lie there waiting for us to discover these truths. Sometimes it is overwhelming just thinking about it. The Bible is divided into two testaments; the old and the new testaments. No one is less important than the other; they both compliment each other. However, if you are a novice, starting with the New Testament will be easy to comprehend.

The Book Of John

The book of John is the easiest Gospel to study; it shows the identity of our Savior; read three chapters every day to get a good grasp of the author, topic, context, and characters. The book of John opens your understanding, prepares you for the next three chapters- Mark, Matthew, and Luke. In essence, from John, go to the book of Mark, back to Matthew, and finally the book of Luke. After reading the four books, you can move to the other chapters in the books in the Bible, except for Revelation. Revelation is filled with prophecies; you need to familiarize yourself with the Major Prophets in the Old Testament, before reading the last book of the New Testament.

Select The Topics To Study

This is another useful technique for studying the word of God; it is quite different from covering the Bible chapter by chapter. The subject index of most Bibles has specific areas of study. Once you have located an interesting topic, do a rough read through of the verses; it will give you a general preview of what the verses are all about. For instance, Obedience, Salvation and sin etc. you do not have to move on to the next chapter; take your time to understand the chapter before moving to the next, even if it means repeating the chapter.

Have A Notepad

It is not enough to read the bible; you have to keep account of your daily study. Ask yourself questions such as “who was there?” “What was happening?” “where is the story happening?” and “how did it end?”, And write them down in your notepad. Answering the questions will enhance your understanding. It can also tell if you understand what you have read.

Get highlighting pen for marking important stuff, or your “eureka moments” this is the reason you have to get your personal Bible; it is wrong to highlight someone else’s books or the bible.

Take Advantage Of The Cross References And Footnotes

Most bibles come with cross-references and footnotes; they are numbers and symbols that tell you to look other verse or chapter for more information. It also shows you if the verse was previously discussed. Cross-references and footnotes explain better and enhance your understanding of the chapters and the verses. In addition, follow the references in the study Bible back to the first time the word was used.

Avoid Distractions

It is easy to get distracted when doing something important, including study the bible. One way to focus on studies is to have a strict study time. Make sure nothing take your attention all through the time. Turn off the television or radio, find a quiet place where you can read without anyone distracting you. If you are reading in your room, put a sign on the door, to alert family members and friends that you need your time alone for a specified time. Switch off your mobile phones, laptops or anything that will tempt you to go online.

You can slate your study time for thirty minutes or one hour for a start, and then you can gradually increase the time as your body begin to tune in to the time naturally. Remember, it is not how long you spend studying the Bible; it is what you gain from the time you spend that matters. There is no point spending 2 hours in the study room and leave without achieving anything. If you feel after one hour of studying, you start feeling sleepy or lose concentration in what you are doing, then ensure your study time do not exceed one hour.

Encourage Yourself: As you study the Bible, I pray God opens your eyes to see and understand the mysteries in the Word of God. Have a productive New Year!

Dealing With Anger

How To Deal With Anger And Frustration

Before, you scroll down and pretend to read every word written here, know this: uncontrolled anger is one of the primary reasons for most people who have health issues and horrible relationship experience. If you value your relationship with loved ones and also want to stay in good shape, you need to this article.

Sometimes we all experience some circumstances that make us fume, pout, which may cause our blood pressure rocket. The truth is, so long you are living with other human beings, and even pets, we are bound to experience some not so exciting days. However, handling the situation is what makes the difference between you and the next person. It is the reason you think other people do not experience this same “terrible” day as you.

First of all, before you dive into reading, I need to congratulate you on this bold step you have taken. Not everyone knows anger is a problem that needs to be dealt with before it sucks the energy out you and your relationship. The following steps will guide you to a life of peace, love, and self-control, but they are not magical. You need to make a conscious decision to change, to be the wonderful person that you have always wanted to be.

Pause Before You Speak

Nobody talks in his or her right senses when angry, and the sad path is, whatever you utter cannot be retrieved. The best is to say “I am sorry”, which may or may not appease the hurt. Try as much as you can to hold on, think it through before you say anything. If you cannot handle it, leave the scene; take a break from the “what or who” is causing the anger. Come back when you are entirely in control of your emotions, and address it.

Furthermore, you can practice relaxation skills while you try to cool off; deep breathing exercises help us to keep calm, avoid uttering words that you may regret later. You can also choose to write in a journal, listen to music or do whatever can encourage relaxation.

Don’t Be Scared To Express Your Anger

Hold on, before you judge me wrong, I need to explain this here- most causes of anger is as a result of bottle up emotions you have hidden in the past. Pretending to be okay with some things, does not mean you have successfully gotten rid of the anger issue, it simply means you have postponed the fight to another day. Some peoples’ definition of staying calm is bottling their anger and frustration. This is not the best, because one day it will explode, and may ruin years of relationships.

However, you are not qualified to express your anger when you have not completed the first task on the list- Pause before you speak. Do whatever it takes to cool off; you can exercise, simply listen to music, watch a movie, or sleep. Do anything at all that will not cause harm to your health. Please note that it is not safe to drive while in rage, steer clear the highway until you are okay to drive.

Do Not Spend Time On The Cause Of The Problem Get Possible Solutions

A lot of us tend to spend more time regretting our actions that we fail to move on. The more we spend time on the cause of the problem, the more frustrated we become. Whatever makes you mad do not deserve your attention. In essence, it is better to find a probable solution(s) that will resolve the issue at hand, than pointing fingers on whoever is the cause of the problem. For instance, if your spouse loves working in a roughened environment, instead of yelling, arranging the room every time your spouse messes up the place, create a separate room for your space to work. Anger cannot fix anything; it may aggravate the situation even more.

Stop The Blame Game

Humans are fond of blaming everyone except themselves, when you find yourself in a not too funny heated conservation with someone, use the “I” statements. For instance,  say “I am upset because I hardly spend time with you” do not say “You are always busy with one thing or the other”.

Count Your Blessings And Not The Problems

The more we consciously or unconsciously dwell on the negative aspect of people, the more the negative trait begins to materialize. Instead of dwelling on what they are not doing right, think of the good times, you have had together. Count the good times, learn from the mistakes, and think of ways to solve the problems.

Also, avoid holding grudges against the “offender”. Holding grudges will put you in one spot instead of growing to become a better you. The Bible knows this secret that is why it is written in Ephesians 4:26 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”

Be angry fine, but do not stay mad for too long.

Encourage Yourself: Get Help

For you to get help, it means you have to admit the bitter truth that you have anger issues; a lot of people find it difficult to admit, but knowing you have a challenge, is a pathway to finding solutions.

Seek help especially when your anger makes you do things that will hurt the people around you. Ask for the help of The Holy Spirit; He will surely come to the rescue.  Read information on anger management, just as you have done now.  

However, change is not magical; it is a gradual process that requires patience and determination to get the desired result. You may not see the changes now, but as you continue to take conscious steps, you will turn into a better person.