Marriage Talk: Before you say, I do
Almost everyone wants to get married… you know, watch the sunset with the one you love, see a movie, or do things together for the rest of your life; that is everyone’s dream, and nobody (who is in love) goes into marriage with divorce in mind, they all dream of happily ever after. All these are good, but if you must experience such in marriage, you need to put in the work.
Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not a box full of intimacy, sexual fulfillment, friendship, and companionship, but this is a wrong notion about marriage, and that is why many are disappointed when they realize their expectations are not met. Forget what the media describes to you, marriage, in reality, is an empty box… yes, an empty box. You need to put something inside the box before you can take something out.
Furthermore, there is no love in marriage… okay before you yell at me, read on. Love is in people who must make sure they put it in marriage. Some people go into marriage thinking their partner will change for the better after they have exchanged vows, but no. There is no magic in marriage; you and your spouse have to create the magic yourself!
If you want to enjoy your marriage, you as well as your would-be spouse need to form a habit of giving, loving, forgiving, and forbearing.
Marriage is built on habits, not reactions or fleeting things; you need to cultivate the habits of service, and honoring. In essence, you need to keep the box full with the things you want to enjoy in your marriage; no one will fill it up for you. You either fill it up with love, faith, hope, mutual respect, and selflessness or you fill it with selfishness, ego, disrespect, and suspicion.
Look before you leap
Funny how the media and other fairy tale books have successfully passed the “you don’t have to look before leaping, just do it!” message to everyone. Whatever you rush into, you rush out of… marriage is a lifetime, and divorce is not the backup plan. If you dream of spending forever with your partner, don’t you think it is best you take your time to learn things about each other before you leap?
What you need to do before saying I DO
There are several things you need to do before going to the altar with your honey;
Know God’s plan and purpose for your life
One of the easiest ways to tell if your partner is the right person for you is to know if he or she is your mate. Learn more about choosing your right partner.
Moreover, you need to know God’s plan and purpose for your life. How do you do that? Spend time with the Word of God, meditate on the word of God, know the talents that lie within you. Sometimes, the things we do for fun can be a pointer to what God wants us to do here on earth.
Going into marriage with the hope that your partner will fix you up is a disaster waiting to happen. “if you cannot love me the way I am, then leave” this mentality is wrong, nobody loves nonsense. Work on yourself while waiting for Mr or Mrs Right. We strive to be a better person; if you want the best, then be the best. The best tips to aid you in making your marriage better.
Have a relationship with God
God is Love, and marriage cannot thrive without love, so the best teacher to tutor you on how to love is God. You need to spend time with your Maker, and He will reveal life’s secrets to you. 1 John 4:8- He that does not love, do not know God, for God is love. There is no way you can genuinely love your spouse without loving and having a relationship with God.
Furthermore, God wants the best for us, He created marriage in the first place, and marriage is good. However, the devil uses our ignorance against us; that is why you see many broken homes today. God in His infinite mercy can show you how to enjoy your marriage, but you need to know Him, have a relationship with Him before you can access His wisdom. Psalms 111:10 “
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.”
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF: In conclusion, marriage can be sweet, but it can also be the opposite; it all depends on what you put into it. If you put in negative things, you will reap negative results, but if you put in positive things, you will enjoy your marriage. Lastly, ensure you are with someone who is also willing to put in the work for the marriage to succeed.