My Ex-Fiancé Wants Us To Get Married I Don’t Know What To Do
This week, I have decided to share the emails some of our readers sent to me, with their permission of course. So, you can learn from their stories, questions, and if you have experienced or know the answers to their questions, you can help her by commenting on the comment box down below.
Thank you for what you are doing; your articles are great; I personally love the relationship-related topics. They are good reads, and it prompted me to share my worries with you and the readers.
I am 27 years old, I have a job, everything is going well for me, but recently my past came taunting me. In 2017 June, my then-boyfriend of two years popped the question, and I happily said yes, the wedding was scheduled September because that was when we became an item. My happiness was short lived when he sent a text that we should hold on for a while. I called back to ask why he never responded to my calls or texts.
I decided to pay him an impromptu visit, but was devastated when I realized he had changed his locks! I was shattered because he was literally my everything… my best friend, confidant, we were so close and I never for once imagined that he would do what he did. I moved into my parents’ place to gain some sanity; it was just too much to bear. It affected my productivity in work, my then boss, gave me a week-leave to get myself together.
I called our mutual friends, but no one seemed to get through to him, or maybe they didn’t want to tell me what was going on. Six months later, I got a call from him; I didn’t recognize the number… if I knew it was him, I wouldn’t have answered the phone. I was still angry, and the pain was eating me deeper than I anticipated. He called to say that he is sorry for chickening out of the engagement and that he didn’t know how to tell me about his doubts.
My mind was racing, so many questions to ask, so many gaps to fill, nothing was adding up, but I pretended to be cool with everything. He invited me to dinner, but I lied to him that I was busy at that time, so I asked if lunch was fine. He agreed, and the next day we met a few blocks away from my office.
When I saw him, I wanted to cuss him for what he did to me, the pain he put me through the six months of his silence. Part of me was hoping he came to fix his wrongs and asked for forgiveness and another chance, but that was not the case.
The reason for the lunch is, he wants to tell me why he ended it the way it did. He reconnected with his childhood ex-girlfriend, and his feelings for her made him doubt the love he had for me. Also, he apologized for his actions, and he believes I will get someone better than him. Courtney, it was a massive blow on me, and I left the restaurant to the office, I didn’t know.
Fast forward to November 2018, I meant this guy in a friends party, and we started talking; I found out that we have a lot together. He makes me laugh, understands me, and makes me feel safe. However, he has a child, a two years old beautiful girl, but he is no longer with his baby mama. That is the only concern I have with him; I love a quiet life, and I do not want any baby mama drama in my life. Don’t get me wrong; I love his baby, she is super friendly, smart, and she likes me too.
I got a message from my ex-fiancé asking for us to meet and that it is urgent. At first, I thought something is wrong, so I agreed to meet with him. To cut the story short, it didn’t work out with his girlfriend, and they broke up eight months ago, according to him they finally realized that they are not meant to be together, and he wants me back. He wants us to be together; he also wants us to get married right away.
My relationship with my new boyfriend is going smoothly, although nothing about marriage is being discussed. But he sometimes chips in that he would like for us to take the relationship to the next level. Nonetheless, after reading your article on how to choose the right partner, I became confident in my new relationship. The bottom line is, I don’t know what to do, I love my boyfriend, and his daughter, but I want a family with peace, love, kindness, and no drama.
Can you share with your readers, maybe they can tell me what to do or what they did in such a situation. Also, can you help me? What do I do?
Looking forward to hearing from you
Thank you for reading my articles, and I am glad you find them useful. Also, I love your guts for coming out to share your story with the world, and I trust our readers will learn from your story, and also help you.
What you need to understand is, no one can decide for you, especially when it comes to relationship and marriage; you call the shot.
First of all, is your ex-fiancé your mate? Learn more from the choosing your partner article.Learn more from the choosing your partner article.
How sure are you that he will not bail out when he sees another girl from the past, present or future?
Lastly, what do your parents or friends think about his new proposal?
Sometimes it takes an “outside eye” to see the flaws we do not see in the relationship. These are some of the things you need to put into consideration. Learn more whats-most-important-when-choosing-partner
Secondly, you stated in your letter that your new boyfriend makes you feel safe, and you love him, and his daughter who loves you too. The only concern is, the baby mama; you didn’t tell us if there has been an incident that made you feel she will be trouble.
Also, how would you feel if someone you love broke up with you because you have a child?
Jessie, I would have loved to give you a straight answer, but it doesn’t work that way. Weigh your options, and be sure you can bear the consequences of your actions. You do not have to rush off to the altar; marriage is a lifelong journey; you need to look before you leap.
I hope God gives you the wisdom to choose your life partner. God bless you.
Encourage Yourself In the Lord; According to the word of God, when we acknowledge Him in all our ways, He will direct our path.