Six Positive Disciplines Tactics For Children
Parenting is awesome, but sometimes it feels it is the hardest job of all time. Well, to some extent it is. Because you are dealing with another human being, every inaction or action you take will impact the lives of your loved ones. So every decision or act needs to be carefully planned out. No matter how cute your babies are, there will come a time when they go off course, this does not take away their sweet cutie self. It just means they are humans not robot, and as humans, we get to think for ourselves, try out some things, taste some things.
Now, it is your duty as a good parent to caution and direct them into making positive decisions; this is where it gets tricky. You need to know how to discipline your kids in order not to put a strain on your relationship. It is the reason all parents and guardians need to understand the concept of positive disciplines.
Not all types of disciplines are appropriate; you need to mind the way you solve your children “oopsies” so that you won’t ruin a beautiful relationship while trying to fix some tasteless habits. After all, you are enabling your kids to build the belief that they are capable and empower them with the skills that help them do the right thing.
Fix the cause not the outcome
It is common to quickly treat the outcome or the symptoms than fixing the cause. When you identify the cause, you can prevent the need for your kid to act the way he did. For instance, when your child bullies another kid, it might be a low self-esteem issue, or what he sees at home. When you fix his self-esteem problem, you have successfully eliminated the need to bully some other children. Another example is when your elder son or daughter is hitting his sibling; this may be the cause of jealousy- it may be a way of getting attention from you. Although, it is an unhealthy way to attract your attention; the point is zoom in to see the bigger picture and fix the cause.
Show them productive ways to seek attention
One of the examples listed above is caused by the feeling of neglects by the ones they love and respect. If you do not teach them positive ways to seek attention, they will come up with theirs and trust me on this, you will not like their ways of seeking attention. According to Dr Nelsen, young kids will feel significant when they contribute. She further stated that young kids feel involved in the family when they are given a task to complete. It does not matter how inconsequential it is, whether they are getting themselves dressed or clearing the dishes- they feel capable. It will make them channel their energy towards doing constructive or productive things, as opposed to acting out.
Redirect your child instead of saying NO
Do not be quick to tell your little kid who frequently do something wrong, like biting. Saying NO outrightly is a command, and commands do not give them anything to feel more capable. Instead of telling them what they cannot do, tell them what they can do. The idea is to focus on solutions and not punishments.
Take out the shame around making mistakes
This goes for adults too; a lot of us are scared of making mistakes that we do not bother to try new things. The truth is when we do not try things, we will not know how strong, and smart we are. As a parent, you need to teach these things to your children at a very tender age. Let them know mistakes are opportunities to learn. It is not the time to receive spiteful remarks from you. Besides, it will make a kid feel encouraged and respected that will generally create a positive shift in their thinking and behavior.
Set loving boundaries
Kids, if not careful can overrule the house, and this is when parenting gets overwhelming and chaotic for most adults. If you miss this at an early stage, it will be difficult to shape the iron when it is cold. When your kids turn three and above, they tend to test the limits of your love; it is to find out if we love them enough to make them safe. Whenever, your kid attempts to argue, maybe by stomping his foot and saying “but it is not fair!” instead of yielding to their desire to argue with them, you can respond with “I know” or an emphatic sign and then walk away. You are setting a limit by refusing to argue.
Also, let them know there are consequences to their action or inaction. If you kids misbehave let’s say your 4 years old girl has been throwing a tantrum, wait until he calms down and then say “ what you did cause an energy drain. I don’t think I will be taking you to your friend’s birthday party this afternoon.”
Give them a voice
Children need to be heard; it is healthy for them. So setting aside twenty minutes a week for your little kids so that they can “present their case(s)” while you listen without arguing or stopping them halfway will give the family an opportunity to air their concerns and work out solutions that will be best for everybody.